Okays I’m done. I mau tidur now. Chiow.

I’m feeling alright. I like it a lot. And Im definetely taking a break from boys for a longass time.

So, I decided to end up my pee in the sink shit.

I kinda hate people.

I hate shopping but I’m addicted.

I love fucking things up, like not just things but every single good thing that happens to me. Maybe thats why God doesn’t give me many good things because I fuck it up. it seems like when I get hurt, by whatever. I’m not really strong enough to retaliate. So, I just put myself in positions to let myself get even more hurt. Between, I’m afraid to be happy, because its not going to stay that way forever so why try to live up to something.

I can feel this gap between us. The gap causes this silence, a silence louder than anything I’ve ever heard in my life and it hurts my ears. I used to feel so close to you and now I’m so far away. Everytime I try to make that gap smaller its like an illusion because the gap always stays the same size, if it doesn’t get bigger. I like this boy too much. Don’t ask me what I was thinking when I said we weren’t close because we like complete each others sentences. My feelings are exclusive.

Theres so much in my life that has gone unsaid, I want to say it. However thats kinda awkward. & also I fucking hate having secrets, I want to tell somebody one of my deepest darkest secrets but I don’t know exactly who or how or anything.

Rainy days majorly suck. It makes my mood change to grumpy. But tomorrow is a new day & hopefully a brighter one as well.

Anthony 郑伟康:” 不变不怕不灰心我就是这么倔强爱着你才不听有多少反对声音凭着爱什么不可以不走不放不犹豫我还是这么倔强爱着你不用管还有多少不一定你只要相信我永远坚定. “

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得

你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开

你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过

你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你

这首歌完完全全表达了我现在的心情。。

I don’t think I’m too happy at the moment.

Lots of things are so unexplainable and confusing right now. I’m sick of debating all these pointless decisions on so many subjects that I can’t seem to get my mind off of.

I don’t even understand whats wrong. Somethings missing though, something is definitely missing.

Siapa mau pergi The Click Five’s concert with me?

I’m not dead. Maybe.

You’re leaving me, you’re leaving me.. Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me.

“nvm is okay.. noe u working tired.” If only he was him.

I’m just like a idiots for you. I am dumb. It’s sinful to ask for help.

Sleep is what I really need but I’m wide awake.

Tuesday was just about perfect.. not it totally was. Went out with Kath & Natt to Ou. Had lunch at TGIF. Tiao, I damn tired. I damn lazy to blog. Here’s some pictures..

& I lub Mankays !! Eh, please don’t steal my mankays pics ! Took it at Melaka !

Fuck Burberry. Throw all your Burberry bags or shirts away. Just fucking throw everything from Burberry. They kill fox you tau? So fucking cruel. Check out

www.bloodyburberry.com

P/S: Spread the word online

Sorry if I don’t reply to any message on chat-box, I don’t exactly feel like it and don’t feel I have even the energy to do it. does not mean I don’t want to talk to you all !

It’s just a feeling that won’t go away. It used to just come and go..now it’s constantly there. Keeps me laying in bed and feeling sick and feverish all the time.The bones in my wrists don’t show as much as they used to. That’s got to change, I don’t want it to but it will.

I’ll be there for you through it all.Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

I hate Taking Back Sunday. I hate their songs - Make Damn Sure. I hate holidays. I hate blogging. I hate him. I hate Ou. I hate my friends. I hate that cibai. I hate working. I hate smoking. I hate drinking. I hate clubbing. I hate shuffle. I hate rave party. I hate mamak. I hate.. Urgghh.. I hate every fucking things.

Sigh. I mau balik life saya. Srsly. I mau balik.