I don’t feel like this is going to be any different. you can tell me all you want, but you’ve already shown me who you are. my opinions don’t seem to make much of a difference. When you get upset because someone doesn’t listen to something you’ve said thousands of times, do you ever think about how many times I’ve said a few things and how many times you’ve just spit them back out at me?

I was surprised that my life was so meaningless that I would have nothing to say so far. I was surprised that I wouldn’t have a defining moment to speak about. But the more I thought about it, the more I had to say. There are things I’ve done that have shaped me, people I’ve known who’ve had great impact on me, for better or for worse.. I’m not the same person I was a year ago, two years ago; I didn’t become who I am right now by simply plodding through existence: things happen, people change.

I can’t write, I can’t relax, I can’t enjoy my music, my reading, or my art. I feel like I’m in suspended animation. Everything and everyone else around me is rushing around at lightening speed and I’m just here.

Chinese New Years holidays is gonna be like a week plus. Go AUS for CNY holidays? No, I don’t want. I wanna stay here. I’m weird. I know.

School is boring. My school sucks tribally. I hate the school rules. I hate my class.

I’m going out with Rina C & Kathleen T this Saturday ! Jay Chou ! Can’t wait !

Quick Silver Revolution 2.0 & Astro華麗台電視劇大獎2007

I’m done ! Btw, Astro華麗台電視劇大獎2007 pictures credits to Geoffery , the two skaters pictures credits to Sylvia.

Owh yea, I would like to thanks all of you for voting my cousin in the Cj7 contest ! They are the highest votes in the CJ7 competition !

I’m back from Quick Silver Revolution 2.0. I saw Su Kim, Ishnee, Wei Lun & alods more. So, it was boring. Tsk tsk tsk.

Went over to Kath’s house in the afternoon. As usual, we cam whored like mad.

& coming up next,
Quick Silver Revolution 2.0 & Astro華麗台電視劇大獎2007

I ache to think of what has happened to us. Only a hollow relationship, what once was so close. The ease of conversation, our connection, the easy laughter. When was it lost. I long to tell you how much I need you, miss you. To tell you about my day and hear about yours. Simple but so difficult. Can we fix us? Can we find in ourselves and each other what brought us together or are we already too far gone?

So, let’s continue about Kah Jun’s birthday celebration. After our lunch at Swensen’s I walked back home with my two retards. & we cam whored like mad.

I’m done ! Check out Kath’s blog for more pictures.
I’m too lazy to edit all the pictures !

坐在沒有人的角落,我又問自己
究竟應該繼續還是該放棄
沒有人能了解我現在的心情
想看你,想躲你,難以決定.

每當我想靠近,你總會裝冷靜
眼看你的表情彷彿己經說明
我只想要證明我們這段愛情
也許在你眼裡它只是個遊戲.

我只想要靠近,也很想要抱緊
回想到那過去和現在新的你
我還想要參與你的生活點滴
只要你肯相信我一定會陪你走下去.

能不能夠讓我再說我愛你
還是你己不想聽
能不能夠把你徹底的忘記
我是真的搞不清.

Happy Belated Birthday Ng Kah Jun

So, we celebrated his birthday at Swensen’s today. Siew Mai & Yin Chun ffked us. Urgh. I’m not going ask them out anymore. Between, I didn’t know the service at Swensen’s was that bad ! Tsk tsk tsk. Food pictures first kays?

The Earthquake No.1.

The Earthquake No.2.

The Earthquake No.1 & No. 2. Well, I recommend you go for Yam, Banana Split & Sticky Chocolate flavored ice cream. Other than that, don’t take risk to try!

Spaghetti Bolognese.

Spaghetti Bolognese. Kah Jun’s ordered this. Way way better then Pizza Hut. Rm16.50 for this. I think it’s quite expensive lo.

Macaroni ‘N’ Cheese.

Macaroni ‘N’ Cheese. The cheese smell horrible but it taste damn nice. RM13.90 for this. Damn worth it. SRSLY ! Must try !

I’ll upload more pictures on my next post !
So, stay tune (:

I’m so pessimistic at the moment.

I want to forgive him for what he has done to me and also forget him. That seems impossible. Yeah that would be lovely, if only I could just do that, move on forget. I’m not very strong at all. I’m so emotional I believe way to easily my hopes soar just to be crushed usually by him. I love too many things about him.

I’ve decided to skip school tomorrow. I got two accounts lesson which can drive me go insane.

Emily Wong, be happy because I’m updating my blog almost everyday just for you ! (:

Revolution Tour this Saturday, anyone? Text me or drop me a comments will do.

We’re talking again. I like to believe it and put myself in a better place, but deep down, I know it’ll never happen. It’s funny how music can lift my moods. I kind of feel better, I realize I am not really alone my mind tricks me into thinking I am sometimes.

So, my retards came to my house for Maths tuition on Monday.

Kathleen & Ivy (:. How dare both of you cam whore without me..

Both of them are trying to built houses or something like this. No idea what are them trying to do actually ! Tsk tsk tsk.

Had our yum char session at Island Cafe after tuition. I think they change the chef or something. The quality of their food is going down. The beefsteak has no taste at all.

Jasmine Tea

French Fries.

Beefsteak.

BBQ Chicken Chop.

Weird night. Weird mood. It’s funny how my day has so many ups and downs.

I picked up the guitar again for the first time in a long time. And it feels good on my fingers. I lost my calluses way back so I’m feeling that numb sort of pain at the tips of my fingers. I’m not a song writer. I don’t have the ability, but I love that guitar gives me the opportunity to play the songs that I love that I cant play on the piano. It’s so versatile and portable haha !

I wish that things were different between us. I would’ve reached out and took your hand and made you feel loved because I love you. Not in the way you want but I’ll love you always no matter what you might think. I want you to know that I wish I could tell you that but the time’s past you’ve moved on. It just feels like you’re leaving me behind too. When did that awkward silence appear? What happened to what we had, I miss it, being able to really talk to you. I wish you could still open up to me with every day that passes I feel you slipping away farther and farther and one day I’ll reach out and you wont be there anymore. I’ll be stranded and alone. I can’t decide whether to cling to you or just let you go. What if I turn to you and you’re already gone. I wouldn’t know what to do. Maybe its for the best that I let you drift away and just cherish what we had once. I can’t think about this anymore. You’re over it and you’re over me. I have to forget how happy you make me and how you can devastate me. Maybe i miss feeling wanted, maybe that’s it.

& 这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何斯守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了
今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

Oh Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. Kathleen & I spend our day at Midvally.

Had lunch at Little Taiwan. Food was okays. I’ve been there before so yea. Bubble tea over there is a big no no. Try out the Jasmin honey tea (:

Blue Coral.

Jasmine Honey Tea.

Taiwan Special Toast.

& We took a hell loads of pictures and there are no words to describe.